I am exhausted.
Last Saturday my nose clogged up due to allergies or some minor head cold. The next day I preached a sermon, then jumped in my car and drove 320 miles at high speeds to make it to a district meeting by 5pm. I made the mistake of drinking caffeine at that meeting which combined with the clogged nose to give me a very sleepless night. I spent all day Monday and Tuesday in meetings and then. . .
Well, let’s just say I didn’t sleep Tuesday night either.
I drove home Wednesday and have done my best to get through this very interesting week without losing my mind. Judging by national headlines and my Twitter and Facebook feeds I have been more successful at staying sane than many Americans. But I have been on the verge of going crazy all week long.
In fact, as I sit here listening to my worship team practice this morning and running through my Sunday morning checklist, I find I am compiling a list of “I have never’s” in my head.
I have never wanted to drink or drug myself silly so much in my entire life.
I have never wanted to listen to the demons of “anger, rage, malice and slander” in my entire life. After all, everybody else is doing it!
I have never wanted to take off for the hills and live a technology free, social media free, people free, Amish, Monastic type lifestyle in my entire life.
I have never wanted to run for political office so much in my entire life.
I have never felt more compelled by my call to be a missionary in the United States in my entire life.
I have never been so confused about what that call looks like in my entire life.
I have never felt so completely unsure of myself and yet so completely sure of God in my entire life.
Go-Before Grace 