There is an old preacher’s joke that goes, “I don’t know where but there is a sermon in there somewhere.” This series builds off of that by trying to find the sermons hiding beneath our everyday experiences. . .and failing miserably.
This post is a follow up/sequel to my post from last week about Bliss, ID. In that post I claimed the people who named that patch of sagebrush in southern Idaho, “Bliss” were vastly overstating things.
Well, after dropping the boxes off in Utah, I kept going and went to see the Grand Canyon. Let’s just say that the people who named that truck stop in the middle of tumbleweed, “Eden,” were not the same people who named the Grand Canyon.
I mean, GRAND?!?!
My piano is grand.
My dad’s mom is grand.
The Budapest Hotel is grand.
Video games about stealing autos are grand.
The Grand Canyon is nothing short of spectacular!
The guy who named it “The Grand Canyon” must have been an accountant or a lawyer. Even then, I don’t know how even the most stuffy among us manage to keep their wits about them when they stand on that cliff and stare down at Phantom Ranch which is one whole mile below you.
That is not grand. It is something much, much more.
Because when you stand there, looking at the huge expanse below you, everything else becomes quite pointless. When you stand there, you suddenly feel like your life has been leading up to that very point. Everything you have ever seen was just practice for seeing this. And there is no point to ever look at anything else. There is no reason to ever go anywhere else or do anything other than hike down to the bottom of the thing and then hike back up just so you can feel like at least you earned this wonderful gift from the heavens.
Heck, if the sun hadn’t set and the place turned all dark I would not have been able to leave. Although even in the dark you could feel the greatness right below your feet. You just knew it was there and that wonderful hole in the ground threatened to swallow you whole. That is not so much a grand thing as it is a wonderful and incredible invitation to give your life to something so breathtaking.
So in the spirit of setting things right and with all offense to whatever moron named it “Grand,” I am suggesting we revisit the name of “The Grand Canyon.”
I have a few suggestions below to get the ball rolling:
The Absurdly Large Canyon
The Awestruck Canyon
The Don’t Fall Off Or You Will Die The Best Way There Is To Die Canyon
The You Will Wet Yourself Canyon
The Jaw Dropping Canyon
The “I Need To Change My Pants” Canyon
The Most Amazing Thing You Will Ever See Canyon
The Canyon That Holds All The Other Canyons
No matter what you call it, there has to be a sermon in there somewhere. I mean, after all, the thing is a mile deep.